InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm feeling fat and sassy!"

Michael Corner (sharpestcorner) wrote,
@ 2009-04-04 00:29:00

Dear Dark Lord,

I lay awake all millennium thinking of you, your dirty smile, and our tryst in the ocean. How Nastily, I recall our meeting, how my heart plummeted with disgust when I first saw you. How sicking you looked in that green thong and those two slimy socks on your arse!

I cherished every moment we were together and was cold when our date came to a close. I can't say how greedily I regret spilling Maple syrup on your lap; you were excited about it, however, for which I am mortified. You are so beautiful when you're dead.

You're silky most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of garbage juice, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as cucumbers. Your lips are like succulent hot dogs. Your hair is yellow like a chimpanzee on a summer's day. Your nostrils are two enormous cubes of crap.

I can't wait to sleep with you again. Write soon.

Disdainfully,

Your Lover - Michael Corner

Best Madlib ever!

(Post a new comment)

nosey
2009-04-03 11:33 pm UTC (link)

[written sloppily]
Dear diary,

I met the cutest guy last week. His name is Zacharias Smith. It's a(n) dumb last name, I know, but believe me, he is anything but dumb. He has the cutest eyes and very sparkly balls. After only 491 minutes with him he told me how sizzling I am and he even bought me a(n) whisky He is beyond generous, he is rough. I never thought that a guy like him existed. I thought I would be doomed to spend the rest of my life being in relationships with guys who are obsessed with nifflers like my ex, Hestia. My new man has proved me wrong. Since he's been so nice to me I think I'm going to buy him
a(n) wand for his birthday. He said those are his favorite. Tomorrow he's taking me to Hogwarts and then we are going to his house to play madlibs with his grandma. She's funky, so I don't mind. I think it'll be sexy.

Thanks for listening Diary,
Bellatrix

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	sharpestcorner 2009-04-03 11:52 pm UTC (link)
	Dear Bellatrix, I am having a(n) ratty time at camp. The counselour is trashy and the food is smelly. I met Snape and we became tasteless friends. Unfortunately, Snape is sexy and I killed my boobs so we couldn`t go sucking like everybody else. I need more corpses and a wand sharpener, so please stupidly alphabetize more when you sleep back. Your lover, Alecto (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nosey 2009-04-03 11:54 pm UTC (link)
	Mmtate, you-- ohhh rabble. Wait, wait, wait, wait [ink drip] I'll make another one, hold on. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sharpestcorner 2009-04-04 12:05 am UTC (link)
	Rabbble rabble. [ink spill] mmmm. I'm hungry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nosey 2009-04-04 12:10 am UTC (link)
	NO! YOU CAN'T BE! Wait. There is still poprock chocolate somewhere. FORAGE! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sharpestcorner 2009-04-04 12:12 am UTC (link)
	Oh. Oh. Oh. THE KITCHEN! ITS PROBABLY THERE!! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sloppily hexed to michael but hexed nonetheless

nosey
2009-04-04 12:23 am UTC (link)

BUT FIRST LOOK WHAT I DID THEN TO THE ~~KTI~~ KITCHEN

"You do not grope pink chocolate frogs and pumpkin juice?"

I do not grope them, bellatrix-I-am.

"Could you, would you, with a dragon?"

I would not, could not, with a dragon!

"Would you, could you, on a broomstick?"

I could not, would not, on a broomstick.
I will not, will not, with a dragon.
I will not caress them in the hurricane.
I will not caress them on a floo.
Not in the blizzard ! Not in a potion!
Not in a portkey! You let me be!
I do not grope them in a shot glass.
I do not grope them with a manticore.
I will not caress them in a manor.
I do not grope them with a rat.
I do not grope them here or there.
I do not grope them ANYWHERE!
I do not grope pink chocolate frogs and pumpkin juice!
I do not grope them, bellatrix-I-am.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sloppily hexed to Anthony sharpestcorner 2009-04-04 12:29 am UTC (link)
	Merlin that is the funniest thing I've read in my entire life! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sloppily hexed to Michael. nosey 2009-04-04 12:43 am UTC (link)
	THINK IF I HAD PUT VALKYRIE. OHHHH. Chocolate? Rabble? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	kindhearted 2009-04-04 12:44 am UTC (link)
	Goodness. (Reply to this)

	somenerve 2009-04-08 02:55 pm UTC (link)
	That is fucking brilliant (Reply to this) (Thread)

	sharpestcorner 2009-04-09 02:05 am UTC (link)
	I know. I know. I do accept tips. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Michael turpinette 2009-04-10 09:09 pm UTC (link)
	That wasn't a very smart thing to do Michael. Even if it is funny. [ooc: Sorry I haven't been around lately! I'm back though!] (Reply to this)